More Than Just a Starbucks Order

I am standing in line at Starbucks last week waiting for my turn to order and I am listening to everyone in front of me --- venti, double, split-shot, mocha, breve latte--- tall, vanilla latte, extra hot, no foam, --- grande, skinny, soy, double, not water, no foam.

So, I think to myself, "Wow, I really need to get a fancy starbucks order, too!" And then it's my turn.

"Venti latte, please."

Sorry, just couldn't think of anything to change, manipulate or improve about a regular plain old latte. Does that make me boring? Unsophiscticated?

Absolutely not. The truth is I couldn't think of a way to say:

I want a gigantic tasty coffee drink that:

1. has NEGATIVE calories

2. will help me keep up with my kids as they bounce off the walls (even though it is nap time and they SHOULD BE tired!) but will not cause me to have caffeine withdrawal if I am not able to indulge again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day after that.

3. that will make me feel like a pampered mom of three preschoolers even though they are tugging on my pant legs and following me around non-stop as we speak.

4. that won't leave me with nasty "dragon" breath (Cade's words, not mine) because that would be telltale evidence that I was TRYING to have a "calgon take me away moment" and for some reason as mom we are almost ashamed of needing a little down time.


So, IF Starbucks had those options, here is my SOPHISTICATED new order:

"I'll take a venti, negative cal, speed and valium infused, latte, with a mint burst on return and a bubble bath on the side."

For now, I'll settle for my plain, old venti latte, and if that makes me boring and unsophisticated --- so be it!

Introducing Baby "Howie"

Chloe just turned 7 months old yesterday. Wow, how the time with my baby girl is flying by! Right now, she is currently cutting her first tooth (which is only being held back by the tiniest piece of gum which simply refuses to budge!) and fighting a nasty ear/eye/throat infection which has totally ignored the first 2-week round of antibiotics she was on. All that to say, my sweet, sweet baby girl has been a little needy and clingy lately. But, as you can see in this picture, she can still pull it together for a fabulous photo shoot!

A few days ago, when Chloe was playing on the floor, she was looking around for me and starting to whine a bit. She started out saying ma-ma-ma over and over and then it eventually turned into a cry with a few ma-ma's interjected here and there.

Well, Camden absolutely adores her. He decided she needed some attention, so he went over and plopped down beside her. He put his arm around her and started swaying back and forth saying, "Ho-wee, it's okay Ho-wee --- Hush, Ho-wee, Hush." Then he would glance at me in between sing-song sessions as if to say, "I got this mom, you can leave the room now." It was so cute. In fact by the time he was done mothering his little sister, her name had some how turned from Ho-wee (rhymes with Chloe) into Howie (how--ee). Let's just hope when she is older and trying to impress the boys that Cammy isn't still introducing her as his baby sister, Howie!

Chloe's Mom for President?

It is not very often that you will catch me in a political conversation. In fact, I can't stand politics. I am very decidedly INDEPENDENT and am not thrilled with either of the two major candidates. I mean, cut them in half, surgically remove all the crap, sew a half from each party together and then maybe, just maybe we can talk.

At first, I had decided just not to vote. I seriously am not a huge McCain backer and although the thought of going to "the dark side" (No racial pun is intended here, but rather a reference to my Republican political heritage and what voting Democrat would actually mean as far as the "eternal damnation of my soul" is concerned) has crossed my mind on SEVERAL occassions, I am just not that comfortable with "Baracking My Vote" as it has been so cleverly put.

Not that I want to BE the President, but I am certainly about as qualified as most. Maybe I should throw my hat in the ring? Here is a top 10 list of reasons why I should be elected president:

10. I SUCK at writing and STICKING TO a budget.

9. l'd rather overspend and HIDE it, than overspend and be accountable for it. (I mean if you ignore it, it will just go away, right?)

8. I started lying at a young age (5 to be exact). (A blog post for another time!)

7. I am good at telling everyone what they WANT to hear, rather than what they NEED to hear (just ask my kids --- candy for dinner it is!)

6. I have a few skeletons in my closet too (no sordid affairs, but my past is a little checkered).

5. I am much better at seeking my own interest than I am at putting others above myself.

4. I don't like to admit when I am wrong --- afterall, I am HARDLY EVER wrong.

3. I need a bigger house.

2. I like designer gowns, fancy parties, cocktails and the like.

and the number one reason I should be elected as president is...

1. My kids would give the Whitehouse staff a run for their money. I mean, who wouldn't want tickets to that show? (Let's see them clean up shampoo and sugar as efficiently as I now can!)

Seriously though --- who came up with these candidates? I know it is about being "electable" and "qualified," etc... Heck at this point I'd settle for someone who doesn't make up words when addressing the public, has lived on a budget and done so successfully, dared just once to buy shoes at Payless or Wal-Mart for a black tie affair (I mean sometimes less is more!), and wants less of the pomp and circumstance and more of the nitty gritty. One can only dream.

Until then, I'm writing my own name down. After all, I am the lesser of three evils.

VOTE CHLOE'S MOM in '08

I can run this country ragged, just like those who have gone before.

This political ad has been paid for by friends of Chloe and her mom.

Summertime Smiles

As summer winds down, it has been nice to be outside with the kiddos a little more often since we had our first hint of a fall breeze the other day. I took these pics while we were sitting and playing on the front lawn. Cade was helping make baby Chloe laugh. Notice the hair bow --- her hair is finally beginning to come in a little bit thicker. Watch out girly bow world --- here we come!

Free Shampoo Anyone?

10 Bottles of shampoo on the floor, 10 bottles of shampoo. Take one down, pass it around, 10 bottles of shampoo on the floor.

See the thing about that song is that today, it is funny. A month ago it was SO not. August was a hard month for me. Yes, motherhood reared her ugly head (yet again) and well let’s just say that at various times I threatened to let the UPS man come by and pick up the kids and ship them off to Timbuktu. I’m only sort of joking.

Back to the song --- It was a beautiful August morning that started with such promise. I had cleaned the entire house the day before since I was expecting company that night (my parents and aunt and uncle were coming into town to catch the Yankees game! Matt and I were going on our first outing WITHOUT kids since Chloe was born!)

I had also been up late the night before. I am self-employed as a graphic designer and when a deadline calls, a deadline calls. (I think I managed to flop into bed around 4 a.m. after topping off Chloe’s “milk tank” in hopes that she might sleep in!) Matthew had already left for work, the boys (or so I thought!) were firmly planted in our bed sleeping away, so I decided to revel in the extra sleep. I must have fallen back to sleep and been dead to the world because when I awoke, all I hear is this click-click noise. Everything else in the house is perfectly still. Chloe is asleep, Cade is asleep --- uh oh --- Camden has left his post.

I laid there for just a bit realizing that the click-click noise was coming from the master bathroom which adjoins our room, so I knew Cammy was safe. I was so perplexed by the sound I heard because I just couldn’t place it. I decided to quietly walk to the mostly closed bathroom door to peek in and see what that noise was.

Sitting on the cold ceramic tile was my innocently naked middle child FINGER PAINTING with shampoo and conditioner. That clicking sound was him opening and closing the various bottles as he EMPTIED THEM ONTO THE FLOOR. He looked up and with this delightful smile said, “Hi, Momma. I painting!”

I wanted to hurt someone. Anyone.

I sat there for a minute contemplating exactly how in the world do I clean up this amount of shampoo and conditioner --- all the while imagining in my mind soap suds spilling out of every window of our house. I decided the best course of action would be to put a video on for the boys in an attempt to CONTAIN the mayhem while I cleaned up. Movie in. Kids secured. Baby still sleeping (thank the Lord God above).

I gathered every dry towel in the house and began to clean up. Fifteen minutes later and just as I was wiping up the final slippery, soapy residue Cade peeks around the door and just as sweetly as ever says, “Hi mom.” What he should have done is handed me a loaded gun and said, “Here mom, you’ll need this next.” (Again I am joking --- lighten up people.)

So, Cade proceeds to explain to me that Cammy made ANOTHER mess. Because shampoo EVERYWHERE wasn't enough? No, my sanity was being tested and apparently those tests were coming in rapid fire succession. I JUST WOKE UP PEOPLE, this is SO not fair.

Cade: “Cammy got the sugar out.”
Me: WHAT? THE SUGAR? HUH?!?! Are you speaking English? Did you say, SUGAR?

I was so proud of my triumph over the shampoo and conditioner swamp, but before I could revel in that victory, yet another MESS awaited me. In my head a voice said, “Clean up on aisle 5” as if to MOCK me. How dare "they" mock me.

I walked down stairs and was greeted by an entire canister of sugar DUMPED out all over my office/study. The hard wood floors were no longer a lovely, dark mahogany. Instead, little two-year-old size sugary footprints wound around the whole first floor of the house.

My BARE FEET and I walked calmly to the vaccuum and began yet another clean up session. Now where's that number for the UPS man?



(Oh, and because I know some of you may wonder, Why is this crazy person stockpiling shampoo in her master bathroom? It's not because I am awaiting the apocalypse or anything quite that dramatic. I used to coupon a lot and would get Suave shampoo for like 25 cents a bottle, sometimes I would get it completely free --- and who turns down FREE shampoo?)