"What's that you are wearing?"

I am a mom. A mom with three small children no less, and well, there are just THOSE days. Today was one of them.

Chloe has RSV and a double ear infection right now, so much of my day was spent administering medicine and breathing treatments. The latter involves me holding her, a 9 month old, with a mask over her face as she breathes the steroids that are being pumped through. This process takes about 20 minutes, so it is no wonder that most of the damage done today, was ever 4 hours in 20 minute stretches. Boy are kids smart. Boy are boys messy. Whether you are on the phone, on the toilet, or attached to a nebulizer --- they know exactly when to strike!

Well, I did have to venture out to the grocery store for a few things so I packed everyone up and set out. The kids were actually quite good considering the mayhem they left behind the closed doors of our house!

I was walking down the make-up/fragrance aisle on the way to the checkout line when this lady came up to me. Here is the conversation that ensued:

Strange Lady: "Ma'am, if you don't mind my asking, what is that fragrance you are wearing?"

Me: "Are you talking to me?"

Strange Lady: "Yes, I just had to ask because you smell so wonderful!"

Me: "You are joking right?"

Strange Lady: "No, really, you smell great and I just have to know."

Me: Well, honestly --- I am not wearing any cologne or perfume. I don't think I have worn any in, well, at least 5 years (said while eyeing my almost 5 year old son!)"

Strange Lady: "You're kidding!?!"

Me: "No, and really I haven't even had a shower yet today (the baseball cap and no make-up verify my story) and if you get close enough, you would not believe what I REALLY smell like. Sorry to end your quest for the perfect scent, but the "no-shower, baby-puke-and-spoiled-milk, just-changed-a-poopy-diaper" fragrance has yet to be packaged quite as efficiently as I have done so today! But, I am going to PRETEND that I smell as wonderful as you think!"

Strange Lady: "Well, I guess I was just imagining things!"

Apparently she was! Well, who needs a shower when you have the wonderful scents that accompany motherhood!

Tag, I'm "it"!

I have been tagged by Devin over at Mom's Happy Handful for a random facts meme about myself. Honestly, I had to look up what the heck a 'meme' is (thanks Wikipedia!) because, sadly, I had no idea. (I'd rather come clean up front, than pretend!)

Okay, so, let's move on to a more thrilling subject ---me---!

1. I picked out my married last name 2 years before I had ever met my husband.

The Story: My friend Sarah and I were hanging out one day. Her and I were both aspiring artists at the time, both single and had nothing better to do than scour the phone book as we tried to come up with artist names that would be marketable and memorable. Afterall, I just simply couldn't see someone referring to one of my oil paintings as a "Potts." (As in, "Oh, that is a Picasso, or, that one there is a Potts." I mean it just didn't "do it" for me!) Anyway, so I only made it to the C's before I decided that my new last name would be Cole. About 2 weeks after Matthew and I started dating (almost 2 years after the name picking incident) he emailed me. I remember staring at the email in my inbox --- Matthew COLE --- and thinking no one would ever believe me if I told them this story. So, anyway, it's true, believe it or not!

2. The last time I wet the bed, I was 21!

The Story: I was in college and staying at a friend's house. She had a water bed (yes they still existed in 1992). When I woke up the morning in question, the bed was soaking wet. I proceeded to tell her that her water bed had a leak in it --- only to discover the more I searched for said leak that the sheets reeked of urine. And, it was only wet on my side of the bed --- Busted!

3. I used to want 8 kids --- now, I have come to my senses after only just THREE and realize that I am already grossly outnumbered! THREE kids it is!

4. I used to model for art figure drawing classes as my work study job!

The Story: In college I was an art major. As my work study job I took off my clothes! Don't worry, I was not naked in front of the entire student body. I went to Baylor University, which being a "conservative" Baptist school didn't allow the art models to be nude (and the door was locked so no pervs could wander by). So, instead I wore a bikini. I can look back now and laugh because I probably haven't been in a bikini since then, but that's a whole other blog post! I did make the front page of the Waco-Tribune Herald in my bikini-clad self. They were doing a story on the art department and I happened to be modeling that day. So, some day when my grand kids crawl up in my lap, I can whip out my headline worthy photograph and show them that at one time their grandma was HOT and was paid $4.25 an hour for being so! (okay, maybe not "hot", but sans stretch marks anyway!)

5. I was hit by a car as I walked across a road (a state highway!) when I was 7 years old.

The story: We lived in a small town in Montana (and I mean small). Our family was returning from having watched a movie about Jesus at the local school gymnasium. (no movie theater in that town --- but they did have several saloons!) Several people were crossing the highway in front of me ( a two lane highway). I swear I didn't see any traffic coming (it was dark and I didn't see any headlights), but the next thing I knew I was in my daddy's arms and he was crying. I came to and told him most definitely that I was "fine" and to put me down. Instead of taking me to a doctor (because there wasn't one), we went to the local veterinarian! Other than some major bruises and a huge goose egg on my head where I landed after flying through the air, I was fine. I was especially mad because I missed the pizza party we were on our way to. Life, death, and pizza. At least I had my priorities straight back then!

I knew from a very early age that God was watching out for me that night and have always known He had a special plan for me. I just didn't know that special plan included so much cleaning!

6. I am a tortilla "snob".

The scoop: Some people have to have brand name clothes or purses, I on the other hand, have to have non-mass produced tortillas. That is what living in Texas will do to you (you have not had "real" Mexican food unless you have eaten at a "hole-in-the-wall" that has menudo on the menu!) Seriously, have you tasted a tortilla, hot off the grill?!? Holey Moley --- nothing like it. Thanks to my mom who got me addicted to eating tortillas with butter on them with a little swig of Pepsi to go along, my fascination with good tortillas is going strong. Currently my favorite tortillas are at the Kroger grocery store near my house where they are hand made every day. Who needs Coach or other fancy designer labels when you have FRESH TORTILLAS?

Okay, well I think that is enough randomness for one day. Trust me I could write a book, but I will spare you anymore details.

Now, it is my turn to tag some blogging friends. I don't have many, so I will tag "the few, the proud":
1. Tracy over at Just the Sous Chef
2. Erin over at M&M's Mommy
3. Kesleigh over at Finding the Castles in all of the Chaos
4. Susan over at The Life of Lewister

All right ladies, it's your turn. Tag, your it! Here are the rules I was given:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on the blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post. (if you have six people to tag!)
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

More Than Just a Starbucks Order

I am standing in line at Starbucks last week waiting for my turn to order and I am listening to everyone in front of me --- venti, double, split-shot, mocha, breve latte--- tall, vanilla latte, extra hot, no foam, --- grande, skinny, soy, double, not water, no foam.

So, I think to myself, "Wow, I really need to get a fancy starbucks order, too!" And then it's my turn.

"Venti latte, please."

Sorry, just couldn't think of anything to change, manipulate or improve about a regular plain old latte. Does that make me boring? Unsophiscticated?

Absolutely not. The truth is I couldn't think of a way to say:

I want a gigantic tasty coffee drink that:

1. has NEGATIVE calories

2. will help me keep up with my kids as they bounce off the walls (even though it is nap time and they SHOULD BE tired!) but will not cause me to have caffeine withdrawal if I am not able to indulge again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day after that.

3. that will make me feel like a pampered mom of three preschoolers even though they are tugging on my pant legs and following me around non-stop as we speak.

4. that won't leave me with nasty "dragon" breath (Cade's words, not mine) because that would be telltale evidence that I was TRYING to have a "calgon take me away moment" and for some reason as mom we are almost ashamed of needing a little down time.


So, IF Starbucks had those options, here is my SOPHISTICATED new order:

"I'll take a venti, negative cal, speed and valium infused, latte, with a mint burst on return and a bubble bath on the side."

For now, I'll settle for my plain, old venti latte, and if that makes me boring and unsophisticated --- so be it!

Introducing Baby "Howie"

Chloe just turned 7 months old yesterday. Wow, how the time with my baby girl is flying by! Right now, she is currently cutting her first tooth (which is only being held back by the tiniest piece of gum which simply refuses to budge!) and fighting a nasty ear/eye/throat infection which has totally ignored the first 2-week round of antibiotics she was on. All that to say, my sweet, sweet baby girl has been a little needy and clingy lately. But, as you can see in this picture, she can still pull it together for a fabulous photo shoot!

A few days ago, when Chloe was playing on the floor, she was looking around for me and starting to whine a bit. She started out saying ma-ma-ma over and over and then it eventually turned into a cry with a few ma-ma's interjected here and there.

Well, Camden absolutely adores her. He decided she needed some attention, so he went over and plopped down beside her. He put his arm around her and started swaying back and forth saying, "Ho-wee, it's okay Ho-wee --- Hush, Ho-wee, Hush." Then he would glance at me in between sing-song sessions as if to say, "I got this mom, you can leave the room now." It was so cute. In fact by the time he was done mothering his little sister, her name had some how turned from Ho-wee (rhymes with Chloe) into Howie (how--ee). Let's just hope when she is older and trying to impress the boys that Cammy isn't still introducing her as his baby sister, Howie!

Chloe's Mom for President?

It is not very often that you will catch me in a political conversation. In fact, I can't stand politics. I am very decidedly INDEPENDENT and am not thrilled with either of the two major candidates. I mean, cut them in half, surgically remove all the crap, sew a half from each party together and then maybe, just maybe we can talk.

At first, I had decided just not to vote. I seriously am not a huge McCain backer and although the thought of going to "the dark side" (No racial pun is intended here, but rather a reference to my Republican political heritage and what voting Democrat would actually mean as far as the "eternal damnation of my soul" is concerned) has crossed my mind on SEVERAL occassions, I am just not that comfortable with "Baracking My Vote" as it has been so cleverly put.

Not that I want to BE the President, but I am certainly about as qualified as most. Maybe I should throw my hat in the ring? Here is a top 10 list of reasons why I should be elected president:

10. I SUCK at writing and STICKING TO a budget.

9. l'd rather overspend and HIDE it, than overspend and be accountable for it. (I mean if you ignore it, it will just go away, right?)

8. I started lying at a young age (5 to be exact). (A blog post for another time!)

7. I am good at telling everyone what they WANT to hear, rather than what they NEED to hear (just ask my kids --- candy for dinner it is!)

6. I have a few skeletons in my closet too (no sordid affairs, but my past is a little checkered).

5. I am much better at seeking my own interest than I am at putting others above myself.

4. I don't like to admit when I am wrong --- afterall, I am HARDLY EVER wrong.

3. I need a bigger house.

2. I like designer gowns, fancy parties, cocktails and the like.

and the number one reason I should be elected as president is...

1. My kids would give the Whitehouse staff a run for their money. I mean, who wouldn't want tickets to that show? (Let's see them clean up shampoo and sugar as efficiently as I now can!)

Seriously though --- who came up with these candidates? I know it is about being "electable" and "qualified," etc... Heck at this point I'd settle for someone who doesn't make up words when addressing the public, has lived on a budget and done so successfully, dared just once to buy shoes at Payless or Wal-Mart for a black tie affair (I mean sometimes less is more!), and wants less of the pomp and circumstance and more of the nitty gritty. One can only dream.

Until then, I'm writing my own name down. After all, I am the lesser of three evils.

VOTE CHLOE'S MOM in '08

I can run this country ragged, just like those who have gone before.

This political ad has been paid for by friends of Chloe and her mom.

Summertime Smiles

As summer winds down, it has been nice to be outside with the kiddos a little more often since we had our first hint of a fall breeze the other day. I took these pics while we were sitting and playing on the front lawn. Cade was helping make baby Chloe laugh. Notice the hair bow --- her hair is finally beginning to come in a little bit thicker. Watch out girly bow world --- here we come!

Free Shampoo Anyone?

10 Bottles of shampoo on the floor, 10 bottles of shampoo. Take one down, pass it around, 10 bottles of shampoo on the floor.

See the thing about that song is that today, it is funny. A month ago it was SO not. August was a hard month for me. Yes, motherhood reared her ugly head (yet again) and well let’s just say that at various times I threatened to let the UPS man come by and pick up the kids and ship them off to Timbuktu. I’m only sort of joking.

Back to the song --- It was a beautiful August morning that started with such promise. I had cleaned the entire house the day before since I was expecting company that night (my parents and aunt and uncle were coming into town to catch the Yankees game! Matt and I were going on our first outing WITHOUT kids since Chloe was born!)

I had also been up late the night before. I am self-employed as a graphic designer and when a deadline calls, a deadline calls. (I think I managed to flop into bed around 4 a.m. after topping off Chloe’s “milk tank” in hopes that she might sleep in!) Matthew had already left for work, the boys (or so I thought!) were firmly planted in our bed sleeping away, so I decided to revel in the extra sleep. I must have fallen back to sleep and been dead to the world because when I awoke, all I hear is this click-click noise. Everything else in the house is perfectly still. Chloe is asleep, Cade is asleep --- uh oh --- Camden has left his post.

I laid there for just a bit realizing that the click-click noise was coming from the master bathroom which adjoins our room, so I knew Cammy was safe. I was so perplexed by the sound I heard because I just couldn’t place it. I decided to quietly walk to the mostly closed bathroom door to peek in and see what that noise was.

Sitting on the cold ceramic tile was my innocently naked middle child FINGER PAINTING with shampoo and conditioner. That clicking sound was him opening and closing the various bottles as he EMPTIED THEM ONTO THE FLOOR. He looked up and with this delightful smile said, “Hi, Momma. I painting!”

I wanted to hurt someone. Anyone.

I sat there for a minute contemplating exactly how in the world do I clean up this amount of shampoo and conditioner --- all the while imagining in my mind soap suds spilling out of every window of our house. I decided the best course of action would be to put a video on for the boys in an attempt to CONTAIN the mayhem while I cleaned up. Movie in. Kids secured. Baby still sleeping (thank the Lord God above).

I gathered every dry towel in the house and began to clean up. Fifteen minutes later and just as I was wiping up the final slippery, soapy residue Cade peeks around the door and just as sweetly as ever says, “Hi mom.” What he should have done is handed me a loaded gun and said, “Here mom, you’ll need this next.” (Again I am joking --- lighten up people.)

So, Cade proceeds to explain to me that Cammy made ANOTHER mess. Because shampoo EVERYWHERE wasn't enough? No, my sanity was being tested and apparently those tests were coming in rapid fire succession. I JUST WOKE UP PEOPLE, this is SO not fair.

Cade: “Cammy got the sugar out.”
Me: WHAT? THE SUGAR? HUH?!?! Are you speaking English? Did you say, SUGAR?

I was so proud of my triumph over the shampoo and conditioner swamp, but before I could revel in that victory, yet another MESS awaited me. In my head a voice said, “Clean up on aisle 5” as if to MOCK me. How dare "they" mock me.

I walked down stairs and was greeted by an entire canister of sugar DUMPED out all over my office/study. The hard wood floors were no longer a lovely, dark mahogany. Instead, little two-year-old size sugary footprints wound around the whole first floor of the house.

My BARE FEET and I walked calmly to the vaccuum and began yet another clean up session. Now where's that number for the UPS man?



(Oh, and because I know some of you may wonder, Why is this crazy person stockpiling shampoo in her master bathroom? It's not because I am awaiting the apocalypse or anything quite that dramatic. I used to coupon a lot and would get Suave shampoo for like 25 cents a bottle, sometimes I would get it completely free --- and who turns down FREE shampoo?)

Mommy Lesson, No. 1

This is the first post of a new ongoing series of "Mommy Lessons." These lessons are things that I have learned about the heart of God while mothering my kids.

You all know that Cammy is now, as Cade calls it, "On the potty train." Well, due to a couple of immunizations Camden received yesterday, he is having some tummy troubles. So you can only imagine how the last 24 hours of the "D-word" have affected being "on the potty train."

After going to the gym with Daddy tonight, Cammy told me he had "ouchy bottom" and wanted his diaper taken off. He does the best at not having accidents when I just let him be naked from the waist down because there aren't buttons and zippers to contend with --- pretty daring when you are dealing with the "D-word!" I am glad to report that he made it to the toilet just fine to poo-poo the rest of the night, which is a huge feat when you are only two and have the "D-word!"

So back to my mommy lesson --- After the last round of the "D-word," Cammy sought me out and wanted to snuggle. He was still naked and in spite of a recent bath still had that distinctive poo-poo smell about him. I let him crawl up in my lap and with his full body, he just bear-hugged me and laid there for a full contact snuggle. It was awesome. I am a snuggler, so I just simply could not turn him away --- stink or no stink!

As he was laying there and I was rubbing his back this image came to my mind of me crawling into God's lap and just laying there --- fully spent, just soaking up my Father's love --- not realizing that to Him, I probably stink. But like my Heavenly Father I could not turn my child away --- even though Camden was stinky, I snuggled, caressed and enjoyed my baby boy.

How many times have I come to God stinky and dirty from another mess I have gotten myself into and He doesn't turn me away. He scoops me up, loves on me, cleans me up--- all the while loving me with His perfect, unconditional love. I simply cannot fathom such love and I say that while knowing just HOW MUCH I love my own.

Do you truly know how much God loves you? I didn't really KNOW the depth of love that one could experience until I had kids. Yes, I love my husband, my parents, my sisters, but my love for my kids is somehow different and somehow, well, more. So, again I ask you, do you truly KNOW how much God loves you?

More than an earthly mom could possibly love her stinky little boy --- this is quite possibly the best news I've had all day!

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The picture at the top was taken Christmas 2007 --- I LOVE this picture of Cammy --- Pure Unadulterated Joy. Not many people get to see this side of him since he is quite shy out in public.